Lazy Saturday

I skipped my dragon boat training today. At first, I thought it would be good for me that I would have extra free time in the morning. In fact, NOT ENOUGH TIME had been something that I have been continuously complaining in the past few months.

However after waking up at 11AM this morning, I found the guilt of not being committed to the schedule and it almost drained my whole spirit away. I could really feel how disappointed my soul was at that point of time. It might sound too exaggerated to say that my energy was low due to the skipping action but that was what I felt at that moment.

Here are two possible reasons that, in my humble opinion, have caused such reaction:

1. I feel uncomfortable because of skipping my regular activities
I have been noticing this phenomena on myself. Although I used to say that I like to venture into new challenges, I can not lie to myself. I love regularity. The equation goes like this:

Regularity = comfortableness

In engineering term, Regularity has direct relationship to comfortableness, i.e. the more regular something is the more comfortable we are I am.

2. I feel bad about myself of neglecting my commitment
Despite the not-so-punctual attitude, I always try to fulfill my commitment as much as I can. For me, commitment is something absolute and definitely a must-to-deliver item. This may be the reason why I tend to reduce my involvement in many occasion. I prefer not taking part to not being able to produce good deliverable.


Personally, I hope the second reason was the caused of this morning feeling... and I would like to share this lesson:

1. skipping your activities would not always give you extra time and it seems to me, based on this experience, the problem is not on the limited time available but on my ability to commit myself to whatever I have planned to accomplish

2. Completing one target will boost your energy for the next target.